New Zealand.

Sometimes I close my eyes, I try to wake up from this awful nightmare. I wish hundreds of times I were there, I wish I had never came back, I wish this wasnt happening, but im not over there, and between us there is even one day.

The worst feeling you can ever have is that you are not going to see them ever again, you wont go back despite of those millions of promises made, those millions of coments, and hundreds of text. You will just forget about them because there are no more chances. You will just wish you had never met them before so you can forget about that fucking shit as feeling. I just wish I had never got so close to them...because it hurts. it freaking hurts.
hopefully, over the years you will forget, you will forget what once you considered as the best thing that happened in your life, what you thought as the feeling that made you keep on fighting. what kept you alive.... and now I just pretend , I can just pretend that some day, as soon as my promises become reality I will fell it again. Because until then I will keep on closing my eyes, and I will refuse all kind of chances to forget because that is  not the way I wanna finish with it, because it is not finished at all, New Zealand is still there.

Sometimes I close my eyes...